Category Archives: Television

Top Chef: Episode 15 – Finale

I realize this is a little pointless at this stage of the game, but in the name of my OCD, we’re gonna finish strong.

I checked the original scoring setup, and a contestant gets 15 points for winning the final challenge and 10 points for making it to the finale, so this episode doesn’t shake things up too much. They also both cried in this episode, but to be honest, I forgot to deduct those points, so we’ll all just have to deal.

So ToddCity made a late run for it, despite the fact he told me last weekend he hasn’t watched one episode since the premier.

But I have watched all of them multiple times, so I feel this victory is well-earned. And Paul is just too adorable to live, so I couldn’t be happier.

If you fools haven’t sent me your money yet, please do that. I’m not gonna hunt you down, but may your grommet-ness weigh heavily on you if you don’t pay!

Until next season…

Chef Scorecard:

Standings:

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Top Chef: Episodes 13/14 – Mentors Make Me Cry & Winter Games

Many apologies for the lack of a standings post last week, but for some of you I was just sparing you the depression… but I wait no more! See below for your daily dose of sadness.

Also, two things before you ask:

  1. No one has Beverly, so I didn’t bother counting up her points during her short-lived return. Oh, and everyone hates her guts.
  2. I put the standings for the past two episodes together so I didn’t have to tally twice, and I did a bit of winging it as to assigning points. They are still merit-based as always, but I awarded some points in hierarchy format since it was different from the usual last week. If you have beef with my math, I point you to the team rosters from this post. My boyz are just strong, mmmkay?

Chef Scorecard:

Standings:

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Top Chef: Episode 12 – Pee Wee Herman: The Clown Who Doesn’t Age

High point: None of the chefs knew what the Alamo looked like from the outside, even though the season started there.

Also, Pee Wee Herman made me laugh. Am I going stupid? Perhaps. But stupid can still win (see: Presidency, George W. Bush).

Chef Scorecard:

Player Standings:

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Top Chef: Episode 11 – Something Wicked

What’s better than Charlize Theron and a night of culinary eeeee-ville? Sending Beverly home, that’s what.

And winning. The winning isn’t too bad either. Ahem:

Chef Scorecard:

Player Standings:

ToddCity, I have one eye on you and the other one on you, Graw. And I can do that because of my lazy eye. See ya next week, suckas.

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Top Chef: Episode 10 – Restaurant Wars

And still champion… Respect:

Chef Scorecard

Player Standings

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Top Chef: Episode 9 – Bar-B-Confusion

I am busy and late, but I am here. And once again, I am victorious! I don’t have the energy to smack-talk, so just check out the scores and gird your loins (ew) for Restaurant Wars tonight. Later.

Chef Scorecard:

Player Standings:

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Top Chef: Episode 8 ~ I would have made hot dogs

The sign that Beverly made that said “Beverly Kim – Top Chef Season 9” is motive enough for murder in my book. Just because you don’t understand that you’re horribly awkward and you own a laser printer does not mean you aren’t The Worst.

Chef Scorecard:

Playa Standings:

And, in the Christmas spirit, may I just say to all of you, SUCK IT. Especially you, Lexington.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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