Well, fellow Southerners, The Polar Vortex is upon us. Or what the rest of the world knows simply as winter.
While my dentist tells me he “doesn’t believe in global warning and all that hippie crap,” he sure does believe that it’s “cold as a witch’s t*tty” right now, and I would have to agree. About the cold; Not about choosing to ignore science.
In honor of my dentist, here’s a drink that’s the liquid equivalent of a cavity. It’s hot, spicy, strong and chocolate, much like my girl Sophia from Orange Is The New Black. Let this keep you warm until she returns.
(Which will be “sometime in 2014.” Netflix, you are a flippity trick but I. LUV. U.)
Disclosure: The non-boozy version of this drink was originally published in Southern Living, but according to our bylaws, we cannot publish beverages that do not have an alcoholic option, thus the hooch.
3 cups milk
1 cinnamon stick
3 tbps unsweetened cocoa
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 (3.5-oz.) chili chocolate bar, chopped
1/4 tsp chili powder
1 shot Kahlua or Bailey’s per mug
1 cup heavy cream (optional)
1 tbsp powdered sugar (optional)
- Mix everything but booze and cream and cook over low heat until chocolate is melted.
- Mix heavy cream and powdered sugar in a separate bowl and whip (ideally with a stick blender because it is so much easier and you don’t want to get The Carpal Tunnel).
- Pour hot chocolate into glasses, add liquor and garnish with cream and a cinnamon stick.
If the name of this side dish wasn’t enough to get your attention, the following were overheard at Akin Thanksgiving re: these potatoes:
“I want to stick my face in that.”
“I would like to be alone with the potatoes.”
“I can’t say what I want to do with these potatoes in front of my Mom.”
This recipe was originally a Michael Symon jam, but we’ve increased the ratio of butter to potato because Duh.
Rice that sh*t or The Chef will come after you.
9 large russet potatoes, peeled and chunked
1 1/4 sticks of butter
1 cup milk
1/4 cup crème fraîche
- Bring potatoes to a boil in salted water. Simmer for 25 minutes or until tender. Drain.
- Melt butter in a small saucepan. Whisk the butter over medium heat for about 5 minutes to turn it a golden brown, caramel color.
- Put the potatoes back in the pot and cook them on high for 1 minute. (This will help them suck up all the fatty goodness.)
- Mash your potatoes or pass them through a ricer.
Note: A ricer, or food mill, is a schmancy chef thing that makes your potatoes smooth as silk. While that texture is nice, it’s by no means necessary. But do not say that to a Chef. You will get punched in the face.
- Add the milk and crème fraîche and stir well. Season with salt (it won’t need much) and white pepper.
You can make these a few days in advance because sheer amount of lard inside will keep them well preserved. See: Any fat Southern woman.
Yes, Nummy neglects, I’ve decided the first post in more than a year deserves to be the first one with the married name. In no small coincidence, this recipe is seasonal and full of alcohol, just like our happy newlywed home.
Milk Punch is basically Egg Nog‘s thinner, livelier cousin, which means Egg Nog hates Milk Punch and is always throwing sideways glances at her at family gatherings.
As the napkin says, let it flow.
But seriously, this drink is easy, delicious and it won’t force you to choose between a seasonal beverage and an extra serving of ham. NEVER force a lady to choose between booze and ham.
2 cups of milk
2 cups of half & half
1 cup bourbon
1/2 cup amaretto liquor
3 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup powdered sugar
- Pour all ingredients except powdered sugar and nutmeg into a pitcher and stir.
- Whisk in powdered sugar.
- Serve over ice and grate fresh nutmeg on top.
These should be served in seasonal glasses. If you don’ have seasonal glasses, exit this blog immediately and never return.
I have not been seasonal in my postings. Butternut squash has been a theme these past weeks, and let’s be honest it just screams fall. Here is a very tasty take on chicken pot pie incorporating butternut squash, mushrooms, gravy, biscuits, and bacon. Do I need to say more? –ts
1 1/2 cups cubed butternut squash
3/4 cup milk
1/2 cup chicken broth (preferably homemade)
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp. smoked paprika
1 tbsp. olive oil
6 slices center-cut bacon
3 portabella mushroom caps, cleaned and diced (about 3 cups)
8 oz. crimini mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
1 cup diced onions
2 lb. chicken breasts and thighs, diced
salt to taste
buttermilk biscuits (make your own if you can, but I can’t bake)
- Preheat the oven to 350°. Place the butternut squash, milk, chicken broth and garlic in a small pot and set over medium-low heat. Simmer for about 20 minutes, or until the squash is tender. Remove from heat and blend with an immersion blender until smooth. Stir in the smoked paprika and set aside.
- While the squash cooks, set a large skillet over medium heat. Once it’s hot, add the oil and the bacon and the onions. Saute until the bacon begins to crisp and the onions turn translucent, about 10 minutes.
- Add the chicken and cook through, about 10 more minutes. Then add the mushrooms and cook for an additional 5 minutes.
- Grease a casserole dish. Place the contents of the skillet in the baking dish, then ladle the butternut squash puree evenly over the top. Halve the biscuits and place them in an even layer over the top.
- Bake for 20 – 25 minutes, or until the biscuits are cooked through and golden. Remove and let stand for 10 minutes before servings.
If you have never had the pleasure of anything Boar’s Head, I must suggest you get your butt up to (preferably the new awesome) Kroger (by the Racquet Club) and purchase something immediately. All of their stuff is good, but their Horseradish Cheddar is simply to die.
It makes a great sandwich, but the Thanksgiving I decided to unnecessarily carbo-load my family with 3 different kinds of mac n cheese, it also made for a great cheese sauce. You could actually even add bacon to this and make it the main attraction. Nobody’d be mad. Just sayin’.
1 box spiral pasta, cooked and drained
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups cream
1.5 cups milk
salt and pepper to taste
1 block Boar’s Head Horseradish Cheddar, shredded
1 can diced tomatoes, drained
Cavendar’s to taste
- Preheat oven to 325.
- In a saute pan, melt butter. Whisk in flour and stir constantly until it makes a blonde roux.
- Add cream. Cook until it reaches a simmer, whisking constantly.
- Add milk. Bring to a simmer.
- Add cheddar cheese and mix until melted.
- Toss pasta in sauce, add tomatoes and place in a baking dish.
- Sprinkle with parmesan and bake for 25 minutes.
I am adding this as a new addition to my après ski drinks line up. Having lived in New Orleans, this cocktail is near and dear to my heart and liver. Luckily John Besh share’s his favorite rendition in “My New Orleans: The Cookbook” (if you do not own it buy immediately). Every one of his restaurants in New Orleans serves this drink. There is a reason; it is great no matter the season. –ts
1 cup Brandy
3 cups milk
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Put the brandy, milk, sugar, vanilla and nutmeg into a blender and fill with ice. Blend for 20 seconds.
- Strain the mixture into tall glasses filled with fresh crushed ice and serve. This recipe serves four. You may need to add a bit more sugar, so taste a little and sweeten as you go.