Well, fellow Southerners, The Polar Vortex is upon us. Or what the rest of the world knows simply as winter.
While my dentist tells me he “doesn’t believe in global warning and all that hippie crap,” he sure does believe that it’s “cold as a witch’s t*tty” right now, and I would have to agree. About the cold; Not about choosing to ignore science.
In honor of my dentist, here’s a drink that’s the liquid equivalent of a cavity. It’s hot, spicy, strong and chocolate, much like my girl Sophia from Orange Is The New Black. Let this keep you warm until she returns.
(Which will be “sometime in 2014.” Netflix, you are a flippity trick but I. LUV. U.)
Disclosure: The non-boozy version of this drink was originally published in Southern Living, but according to our bylaws, we cannot publish beverages that do not have an alcoholic option, thus the hooch.
3 cups milk
1 cinnamon stick
3 tbps unsweetened cocoa
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 (3.5-oz.) chili chocolate bar, chopped
1/4 tsp chili powder
1 shot Kahlua or Bailey’s per mug
1 cup heavy cream (optional)
1 tbsp powdered sugar (optional)
- Mix everything but booze and cream and cook over low heat until chocolate is melted.
- Mix heavy cream and powdered sugar in a separate bowl and whip (ideally with a stick blender because it is so much easier and you don’t want to get The Carpal Tunnel).
- Pour hot chocolate into glasses, add liquor and garnish with cream and a cinnamon stick.
It is rhubarb season which means strawberry rhubarb pie time! I first had this pie back in 2005 from the lovely Chef Erin (famous for her Mac and Cheese recipe). I have been begging her for the recipe since, and now 6 years later I have it. I was invited to a shrimp and grits dinner party and knew that was the perfect time to try out this recipe! It was just as tasty as I remembered. This is just the recipe for the filling, feel free to use your favorite pie crust recipe. You can use a frozen pie crust but will need two as there is a top to this. – ts
2 1/2 cups chopped red rhubarb, fresh
2 1/2 cups de-stemmed, washed and cut strawberries (in larger pieces)
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 tablespoons minute tapioca
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons butter, cubed small
1 egg white beaten with 1 teaspoon water
Large granule sugar
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
- Mix the rhubarb, strawberries, sugar, tapioca, flour, zest and juice of lemon, dash of cinnamon, and vanilla. Mix well in a large bowl and pour out into chilled crust.Dot the top of the filling with the butter.
- Brush edges of pie crust with egg white wash. Roll out the other piece of dough and place over filling. Crimp to seal edges. Brush with egg white wash and garnish with large granule sugar.
- Collar with foil and bake at 425 degrees F for 15 minutes. Decrease temperature to 375 degrees F and bake for an additional 45 to 50 minutes, or until the filling starts bubbling.
Let cool before serving.
This recipe uses a scotch bonnet, and, if you think about the name of that pepper literally (i.e. a small older Scottish woman dressed like Miss Muffet), I think we can all agree it’s cute as crap. Also, reading the list of spices literally made my mouth water, so it’s probably good as crap too.
1/2 medium yellow onion, chopped
3 scallions, chopped
1 scotch bonnet, cut in half
2 tbsp chopped thyme
2 tsp ground allspice
11/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 ground cloves
1/2 tsp grated nutmeg
1/4 cup dark rum
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup vegetable oil
- Combine all ingredients in a blender and puree into a smooth, thick paste.
- Use on pork, chicken, or seafood. It will last for about 3 days. (The rub, that is, not the food. If your food lasts for 3 days you are my grandmother and need to eat more quickly.)